Something on my mind (and I’m pretty tired) is a realization I had about 10 years ago. It was that when I would die was not in my control.
I realized this in a moment of wondering what would happen if I tried to end my life. I had thought about suicide a lot that year, after one of my best friends died of it.
Likewise I think whenever it is time for me to die, there may not be much to be done about that either. I’m not as sure about this, but I am sure it won’t be possible for me to die “too soon”.
Since psychiatric meds nearly killed me at age 21/22, I’ve had this sense of destiny and purpose, so that even if I were to die soon, I think I could have some peace with knowing I had lived close to my purpose all of my life.
Curious if anyone else thinks along these lines? There’s so much talk about death in the collective and media these days, and I wondered how deeply you have inquired into your own death, how destined or fated it may be, how much or how little control you might have over it etc.
I think we have less control than we may discuss. Life and death are more of a mystery than the current narratives admit.
Still I only know my own reflections on life and death for myself. (I would never impose these views onto others or expect others to have the same reality).
The near death experience I had, went on, on and off, for about a year or 2, when I was on a lot of meds. This connected me to the other side in a spiritual way over an extended period of time.
I still touch death and the other side frequently. I am also, admittedly, scared of death in a way. Like many of us.
But I aspire to be such a bridge between worlds while I’m alive that death will be a smoother transition whenever it is bound to occur.