Yesterday I shed a few tears, thinking this might be the first time in my life I wouldn’t celebrate Passover.
In a clubhouse Shabbat service, I had the opportunity to share my sadness as well as my prayer to be open to having a spontaneous last minute Passover, and having a meaningful celebration in person with people.
I had planned to meet with 2 non-Jewish friends who wanted to celebrate Passover with me.
One of them made charoset!
The other one offered to make whole wheat pizza and I explained that Passover is a bread-free holiday
We gathered outside and had a totally sketchy but awesome “seder” complete with 4 cups of wine-half red, half white, me explaining a few things halfway, singing parts of a song or two, saying a couple of blessings, using dandelion and burdock roots as bitter herbs and kimchi instead of horseradish.
I laugh as I share all of this. My prayer was to be open to a meaningful Passover, not to have it be the way it always has been.
Not having a seder to go to or anyone else who had celebrated it before with me, gave me the opportunity (and freedom!) to invent it however I wanted.
I still missed some of the songs and singing them with people who know them, and some of the foods, and relaxing into a whole seder experience.
…but the world is changing and so are our rituals, routines and habits of worship.
After our mock seder, one friend left and another joined and we shared which narrow spaces we wanted liberation from.
Then we did some yoga poses in the setting sun.
One prayer I forgot to say, which is my lifelong prayer, is for everyone who wishes to be liberated from psychiatric drugs be able to be, quickly, safely and easily.