How is Social Media Affecting Men’s Awareness of Women?

I wonder what it’s like for men now.

…for those who read social media and blogs a lot, but especially social media, to suddenly see what women really think about on a daily basis.

…because a lot of women actually write what they think about and go through daily on social media, the way they would if they were talking to their girlfriends (almost) and don’t have to be published by anyone else so can be mostly uncensored.

This is new in the past 10 years.

Most men I know don’t read many, if any, books by women. My father had (and has) shelves and shelves, huge bookcases of books and I found only two that weren’t by men (and I never saw him read those).

Books by women are almost automatically assumed to be FOR women, as though men have no responsibility to know or care what it is like to be a female, or see through her eyes.

But now. Men have little spoonfuls of, “A Day In the Life of My Female Friends/Colleagues” regularly, if they read their social media feeds. This fascinates me. Of course many people don’t read social media feeds or ignore/unfollow what doesn’t please them. But still. It’s cool.

I’ve often as a woman felt like I would need to bash a man over the head in order for him to recognize my reality, or even make an honest attempt to. I still feel this way. And many of the world’s problems stem from this lack of awareness and/or interest, I’d venture to guess.

So how are men receiving and being changed by more little whispers of, “this is what it is really like,” for my female friend over here, and “this is how my day is going,” for a female here? Are younger men being socialized with more awareness of women’s realities than their fathers were?

I recently shared these ideas with a male friend of mine who is a couple of generations older than me and reads social media feeds daily.

This friend is somewhat of a mentor to me, and I do consider him a relatively good feminist, yet when I asked him what he thought of how social media has affected his relationship with the realities of women, he said for him he didn’t think it had much affect. He thought the idea itself was exciting and worth thinking about, but since he had read an excellent book on radical feminism twenty years ago, he already had the perspective of understanding women and being aware of their realities.

“So did you read a bunch of books about feminism?” I asked. He replied he had just read one really good one.

“No offense, but that’s bullshit,” I responded. “Almost every man I know thinks that because he read a book, or a few books, or took a course, or a few courses, that he now knows what it’s like to be a woman. I’d like you to think more about this question of how reading DAILY diary entry type writings from women on social media is affecting your view.”

He agreed with me and agreed to reflect more on it. I’ve never met a male feminist who thinks he’s a good feminist.

…but many men who assert they are good feminists and are actually clueless about the daily realities of women. My conclusion, which I shared with my friend, was that a good male feminist is one who doesn’t think he’s a good feminist. One who will listen and be humble, each day, to the everyday realities of women, knowing that is what it takes.

My friend agreed.

What I know is it’s different to be a woman now. It’s different to be able to have our realities expressed, recognized and acknowledged by more than a best friend or diary or therapist, but by our wider communities.